Shy Self-Promotion

Back in February, when meeting indoors in groups was still a thing, I joined the NY chapter of the Horror Writers Association for some beers and bites at a pub near Times Square. Over the course of the evening, everyone sitting near me agreed on one thing: the best part of the book publishing process is the writing and revising part. Everything that comes afterward stinks. For me, in particular, that means marketing and promotion.

I’ve always been diffident, a word I rediscovered recently and realized I should embrace, because it hits home. Diffident: adjective; lacking confidence in one's own ability, worth, or fitness; timid; shy; restrained or reserved in manner, conduct, etc. So no, marketing and promotion are not the sharpest tools in my kit.

Some people are born confident and outgoing, and I envy them, to be honest. My nature is the opposite, but it actually lets me enjoy working long hours in solitude. Sometimes I feel like an observer of everyone else’s parade. But I’ve developed healthy cynicism and critical thinking, two traits that in MHO most people don’t get.

It stands to reason that social media wouldn’t be my favorite, but it seems more tolerable now that people have calmed down a bit. Not every meal, random opinion, or vacation needs to be shared and rated anymore, thank goodness. I’ve been told it’s “quaint” that I personally know most of my followers, and that writers need a much wider audience. But for now I have to do what feels right and take things slowly. Mostly, I need to keep writing.

A therapist helps me recognize when I hold back too much, and pushes me forward. I’m still trying to build confidence, at least enough to shake off confrontations. And something must be working; after all, it takes courage to put any creative work out in the world. And given a choice, I’d choose diffidence over conceit. Now, do I dare share this on Twitter? 😊

Poster © Ron Gabriel